Burial ground of the pioneers of Singapore
Confucius's disciple, Zi Lu, was born during the Zhou Dynasty. He was a most respectful and devoted son. His family was poor, so the boy had to dig wild greens and roots from the fields in order to feed himself. Because he wanted to make sure his parents get adequate, suitable food, he often traveled a long way looking for wage-paying jobs.
Zi Lu would get up long before dawn and make a lengthy, dangerous trip into the neighboring states, seeking work. He would often travel over one hundred miles, earning what money he could, in order to buy rice and staples for his household. Then shouldering the sack of provisions, he would run back the many miles, arriving in time to cook up a nourishing meal for his parents. When the bag was empty, he would tie on his leggings and set off once again looking for work. While his parents remained on earth, Zi Lu would spare no effort to treat them with proper filial respect. Everyone considered him an unusually good-hearted example of true filial service.
After his parents died, the young man left his native land for the country of Zhou in the south. The king of Chu was impressed with Zi Lu's learning and his moral character, so he offered him a post in the civil service. Zi Lu accepted, and rose to become a high-ranking official. He was given a handsome salary and rich side-benefits for his able leadership in state affairs. Whenever he went riding in his silk-lined carriage, a retinue of one hundred chariots flanked the noble coach on four sides. His personal storehouses of grains, cloth, books, and silver covered an acre of land. Woolen blankets and thick rugs adorned his personal quarters in luxury. His dinner table was set with fine and rare delicacies.
Despite the life of affluent comfort, Zi Lu in his heart constantly pined for the days of his youth, when he was able to serve his mother and father. He would often sigh, "This wealth and honor is flavorless and depressing. How I wish I could return to the old days, when I ate field greens and carried rice on my back for Mom and Dad. How happy I was in those days! Now that my parents have left this world I can no longer fulfill my duty as a filial son...."
A verse in his honor says,
The rice bag on his back holds a rare treat for his parents;
Without a murmur of fatigue he ran those many miles.
Glory, wealth, and honor, once his parents had passed on,
Meant nothing: he only thought of the happy days gone by.
In the time of the Tang Dynasty, an official named Cui Nanshan, had an elderly great-grandmother. She had lost all her teeth, thus she could not chew even soft rice. Eating was a big problem. Mr. Cui's grandmother, the Lady Tang, realized the difficulty her mother-in-law had in chewing food, and thus came upon a solution to keep her alive and in good health. The Lady Tang would wake up each morning, perform her daily toilet of washing her face and combing her hair, then she would enter her mother-in-law's chambers and proceed to feed her mother-in-law breast milk from her own body. The elderly matron had no trouble digesting this nutriment, and thus thanks to her daughter-in-law, even though she could not eat normal food, her body stayed strong and healthy.
One day she fell ill, and knowing that her life was about to reach its natural end, she summoned all her generations of descendants into her room and told them, "All these years I have been looked after by my daughter-in-law. She has treated me most kindly, and I am deeply grateful to her. I only hope that the wives of all my children and grandchildren will be as considerate and proper in their filial devotion as she has been towards me."
When the family heard her final words, they were deeply impressed, and ever after, used her advice as the motto of the household. The teaching was passed down and cherished through the many generations of the Cui family.
A verse in honor of Lady Tang says,
Out of deep respect for the Cui Family's matron,
After morning toilet she would feed her mother-in-law.
Kindness such as this is difficult to repay;
May every generation of descendants be so kind!
During the Han Dynasty, a nine-year-old boy named Huang Xiang became famous as a model of filial service to his father. His mother had just died, and the young boy noticed that his father was wasting away with grief and loneliness. He resolved to make it his business to cheer up his father. After making that decision, there was no job in the house too troublesome for him, and he performed his chores with vigorous, positive energy. His only concern was to spare his father worry and anxiety. While Mr. Huang read by the light of a candle, Huang Xiang, in the sticky heat of the summer's evening would fan the pillow on his father's bed so that his father would be cool when he went to sleep.
In wintertime, when the freezing winds and drifting snow turned the world to ice, the little boy would first hop into his father's bed to warm up the blankets. Then he would call his father in to come sleep in the cozy nest he had made.
Mr. Huang was deeply touched by his son's considerate treatment, and his mind was greatly calmed. To have such a rare person as his son, who spared no details in serving as a dutiful child, was certainly a blessing. The story of Huang Xiang's behavior spread far and wide. Eventually his reputation as an exemplary filial son reached everyone in the land. "There's no one to compare with Huang Xiang anywhere", was a verse that could be heard throughout China.
Magistrate Liu Hu heard of a nine-year-old filial child in his district who understood the principles of filial respect, and made a special petition to the Imperial Court for recognition of Huang Xiang.
A verse in his honor says,
In winter months he warmed the bed just right;
And fanned the pillow on hot summer nights.
In knowing how to be a filial son,
In all these years, Huang Xiang's still number one.
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Serving Wooden Statues Of His Parents: Ding Lan
During the Han Dynasty a young man named Ding Lan lost both his parents at an early age, before he knew how to serve them properly. After growing to adulthood, he longed to pay proper filial regard to mother and father, but as they had left the world, he could not get his wish. He hit upon a plan that would allow him to fulfill his filial duties: he gave a large piece of fine-quality wood to a craftsman and asked him to carve it into the images of his parents. The artisan fashioned two statues that satisfactorily captured the likeness of Ting's mother and father.
When the images were done, Ding Lan reverently placed them in the living-room altar. Every day, morning and evening without fail, he would offer up incense, bow, and ask after the well-being of the statues. After he married, Ding Lan would lead his wife before the altar twice each day and perform the same ceremony of offerings to his departed elders.
His wife grew weary of the tedious ritual, and one day, out of boredom, when Ding Lan was not home, pricked the hand of one of the small wooden carvings, just to play a joke. Who could have guessed that the statue's hand would bleed! The sight of real blood dripping from the image on the altar frightened his wife out of her wits.
Ding Lan returned home and bowed before the images as usual, and noticed the eyes of one of the statues were filled with tears. Marveling at this state, he looked closer and saw a trickle of blood running down the tiny hand. He demanded an explanation from his wife. She shamefully admitted her little joke, and how she had pricked the statue's hand with a needle. Ding Lan blew up in anger, and calling his wife an unfilial wretch, he threw her out of the house and, got a divorce!
A verse in his honor says,
Wooden statues of his parents,
Carved to look as if alive.
Pay heed, all good sons and daughters:
Serve your parents while you can!
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Crying By the Grave When Thunder Rolled: Wang Pu
Wang Pu (Wang Weiyuan) was a filial son who lived during the Three Kingdoms Period. His mother dreaded the sound of thunder-claps. Every time the sky filled with dark clouds and rain was on the way, Wang Pu would run to his mother's side to comfort her and to calm her fears. If her son was not at her side, the old woman felt unbearable alarm.
After his mother passed on, Wang Pu buried her in a neighboring graveyard. Even though the old lady was no longer alive, every time a storm approached, and it appeared that lightning was coming, he would run to the graveside and kneel by his mother's tombstone with tears running down his cheeks. "Don't cry Mother, your son is nearby!", he would call, just as if his mother was alive. As long as the storm lasted, the man remained near the grave, circling around it countless times, to protect his mother's spirits and keep her from fear.
Later when he taught school, every time he read a passage that mentioned the emotion felt by devoted sons and daughters for their departed parents, Wang Pu's own feelings would overflow, and he would cry with deep longing. Seeing this behavior, his students would carefully remove any texts that talked about the tender feelings of children for their parents. Wang Pu always emphasized in his lessons the necessity of repaying the kindness of one's parents while they are still alive. He was considered a model of filial behavior, and his constant regard for his departed mother moved the hearts of all those who witnessed it.
A verse in his honor says:
His mother dreaded most the sound of thunder-claps;
He knelt beside the bed to calm her fears;
Still he hurries to her grave and circles 'round,
Each time a rumbling thunder-storm appears.
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Costumes and Pranks To Amuse His Parents: Lao Laizi
During the Spring and Autumn Period there lived a filial son named Old Master Lai (Lao Laizi). From his youth he had always been most respectful and obedient towards his parents. He obeyed their wishes, and even took special care of their innermost thoughts, so concerned was his heart in serving them as a dutiful son. At age seventy he still earnestly made offerings to the elderly couple, who had reached such a lengthy life span due to his filial devotion. He kept them warm in winter, cool in summer, and fed them soft foods, that were easy to digest in their toothless mouths. Old Master Lai, wanting to keep his parents' spirits high, never mentioned the word "old" in their hearing. When he overheard the old friends lamenting one day, "Look at our son, he's already in his dotage! Surely our own days must be drawing to a close!", his heart could not endure the helpless feelings that arose. "I must find a way to lighten their hearts!" he vowed. Determined to keep his parents from lamenting over their increasing years, he hit upon a plan.
Old Master Lai dressed up in the costume of a young child at the circus, or imitate the walk and manner of a mischievous boy at play. He would paint on comic opera make-up and carry a flower drum, horse-playing and cutting comic antics in front of his delighted parents' eyes. To tickle their funny-bone he would take a toy in hand and mimic a child's nonsense prattle, singing and dancing, and falling in a heap. Sometimes he would carry a pole into the sitting room that balanced two full buckets of water. Singing a silly tune he would trip up on purpose, sending water showering over the floor and soaking his foolish-looking wig and face-powder. His ridiculous show never failed to send the old folks into gales of laughter. Playing the fool always dispelled his elders' Periods of melancholy, and made them happy for days. Even though he was not a youngster, he was able to dutifully care for the physical health and mental well-being of his seniors. This was his first priority in life.
Lao Laizi's filial devotion impressed all who heard of it, and he received unreserved praise as an unusual example of perfect respect and proper affection.
A verse in his honor says,
He cut a comic caper, and played the merry fool,
The Spring breeze fluttered his flower-drum gown.
The old folks laughed with toothless glee;
The sounds of their delight filled the air with joy.
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Raymond
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